


Afterword

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Drama, Season/Series 06, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-12
Updated: 2010-10-12
Packaged: 2018-09-06 19:34:41
Rating: Teen & Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8766205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Post 06.03, Right at the end where Sam gets in the car, is where this starts. Dean demands answers to questions. Perhaps I'm premature, but the way Dean set his jaw in the end of that episode tripped off the muse.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).

“Are you all right?” Dean asked. 

Sam nodded and got into the car Dean got in and sat down beside him the key in the ignition switch and he was prepared to turn the engine over when he stopped. 

“No.” 

“What Dean?”

“No, you fucking tell me what happened to you! I deserve to know that.” Dean demanded.

“Dean I don’t want to remember.” Sam said closing his eyes momentarily. “Let’s just go.”

“No! I spent a year topside cursed with going to hell for bringing you back, then I spent 40 years in hell serving the demons and being Alastair’s bitch. I was cut, drawn and quartered, flayed, and God knows what else, I remember nearly every minute of my trip down to the pit. But you’re gone maybe a day and you act like you just walked in to see your insurance agent.” Dean said angrily.

“Dean I DON’T WANT TO REMEMBER!” Sam shouted emphasizing each word. 

Then Dean whipped his left hand from the wheel snapped it behind him and came out with a pair of handcuffs. Before Sam could register what was going on he’d cuffed Sam to the steering wheel. 

“We move when you talk. You were gone for a little while, you come back, then you abandon me for a year, a solid year when I lived haunted each day by what I was and what I wasn’t, trying to live up to the ideal that Lisa had built around me, trying to be a buddy to Ben. Then you show back up in my life with those nutcase relations of ours and try to act like it’s all good. Well it’s not! “ Dean gasped for a moment while Sam stared unbelieving at the cuffs. 

“Dean don’t do this please.” Sam begged.

“Sammy I’ve got to. You come back and are rougher around the edges now that when I was in hell for those four months. You simply don’t give a shit anymore and I want to know why? Who fucked you, who took your cherry.”

“You know you did.” Sam said with a smirk trying to draw his attention away.

“You know what I mean, I mean your innocence there was a time when you would demand that I think things through, now you stand, by all good and ready, while Cas pretty much tortures that kid for information and you’re good with it.” Dean looked at him curiously. “I don’t know you anymore Sammy. I love you but I just fucking don’t know you anymore.” Dean said miserably and he opened the cuffs. He started the car, his eyes fixed, and filled with frustration. Before Dean could put the car into gear, Sam reached over and switched off the ignition.

“I was in one spot in hell for a time. I was, or Lucifer was facing off Michael, when the angel turned a glare on me then disappeared. He left me there with Lucifer and all the demons, needless to say Lucifer was proud to have a human form but he was fucking pissed that his road to earth was cut short like that so he vacated my body and turned me over to some soldier demons, the lowest caste in hell. They tortured me Dean…they branded me…flayed me…fucked me…and then they got nasty, and then it started all over again. Each time worse than before. I felt like I was down there forever, but I was actually in hell about a week, which at near as I can work out was about 5 years earth time. 5 years of this continuous cycle of torture and debasement until at last Michael appeared at the site, his presence driving the soldiers away, he grabbed me up and got me out of there. “ Sam’s face was wet with tears now, his voice unsteady but at least he was lucid. “Michael took me out of there and before God, I was judged and given basically a suspended sentence. They took into account that I managed to correct what I did in the first place by putting Lucifer back into the cage. But I was told that if I ever fucked up like that again, I would be condemned forever.” Sam was sobbing now, Dean wanting to reach out to him and hold him like his big brother should but knew there was more coming. “When I came back I decided to give you a chance at normal. Try to keep the boogy man away from your doorstep. Try to atone for what I’d done to start with. So I’ve been hunting anything out of the ordinary like we used to plus I’ve been sending a LOT of demon’s south. I’m unhitched from the demon blood, but I still remember the long exorcisms and short ones, and yeah, seems like my intervention granted me a little extra push with the psychic abilities.” Sam wiped angrily at his cheeks, “So there you have it, in great and glorious detail the story of my sojourn to hell. Nothing like your 40 years, but enough for me.” Sam leaned forward now sick with grief. Dean reached out then and encircled his brothers shoulders. Sam whirled and grabbed Dean in a furious hug. “I’m sorry Dean. I’m so fucking sorry.

“Sam what you did is going to take me some time to reconcile. I love you Sammy, I always have had and always will. It’s just that I wonder when you’re going to go off again and choose some other star you’re chasing over family.” Dean said calmly. “You ditched me once to go demon hunting and nearly ended up getting yourself killed and you did manage to kill Lilith, and let Lucifer loose. You ditched me again when you came back from hell and left me again. I love you but I just can’t help but wonder, what will be the next wedge?”


End file.
